Shifts, Shadows & Impending Anniversary

18 05 2012

So I have had a rough go of things since about Christmas and look around to friends and fellow post surgery people who seemingly aren’t have the rough transition. This small dark patch has followed me, even after a dietary clean up, and a huge leap forward in my fitness regime. I have been going through the motions of living a permanent healthy lifestyle, and the harder part of this, learning to accept that I am not like everyone else, and this is what I NEED to do to maintain this my entire life.

That last bit has been slightly harder to swallow at times (pun intended) especially dealing, without the aid of food, all the uncertainties of cancer and interruptions in my routine given all the minor surgeries and healing time.

When stuff gets tough, my experience is to throw more energy and hard work at it. I am starting to realize this isn’t always the answer. Some things just need to be. A very smart woman reminded me this week that different people are at every point in our paths.

There are several blogs I follow and have been following Tom’s blog and journey after I stumbled upon a City Chicken recipe he had posted way back on another blog. Here is a link to his blog On Twitter this week he posted a link to this blog entry that speaks volumes about my seemingly dark cloud since Christmas. His blog entry was a reminder that this transition from who I was to this new dynamic person, with a solid wellness vision doesn’t merely happen with weight loss and that it is HARD road at time. He urges us to step out of the shadow of our former selves, to evolve, and not to dwell in the shadow of our former life just because it is easy and comfortable. I urge you all to head over to his website and check out this post.

What does that mean for me?

Upping my commitment at the gym. I am no longer just satisfied with a good BMI and the ability to do 5 push ups. My goal is to “take this new body for a spin” and really see where I end up.
It also means creating more of a balance as you have seen from my blog. I need to step out of the kitchen a bit more, sign back up for school, engage in other interests and with people who are willing to make time for me. I have been so singularly focused on mastering this new lifestyle and fearing failure, I have created a life of imbalance.

It also means stepping away from the computer and bberry and really enjoying each moment of life instead of feeling like I am rushing from one project to another. It means investing less in people’s problems. I can’t fix everyone, they need to do that for themselves, even if it is painful to watch them struggle.

I read a piece on ‘tech dieting’ and this question posed is interesting “Are you able to sit quietly without distracting yourself with games/texts/emails?”. Right now, thankfully, yes, but there are periods of overload and imbalance and it is something I need to work on.

So on the cusp of my 3 year surgiversary that is the sum of my collective wisdom. Eat, move, have good sleeps, stop fearing change, evolve, and truly own the changes in your life. For me, it isn’t the weight loss number..that was the easy part, it is the shift from post-WLS person to regular life where the victories lie.

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2 responses

19 05 2012
Beth

Thank you for this post!! I really needed it. I am 16 months post-op, and have been in a back and forth struggle lately. The last 10 pounds are WAY harder than the first 227! It’s more mental at this point that is holding me back. I need to reevaluate my priorities and goals.
Love your blog!!

19 05 2012
geokatgirl

Thank you for your comments Beth. It makes me feel better to know that others feel the same way from time to time.
I wish you success in your last 10lbs lost.

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